My name is Jessi.
Top Fandoms: Klaine, Malec, Bamon..
I never know what to say for these things..

 

marauder-in-warblerland:

istytehcrawk:

Burt Hummel is an inconsistent insomniac. About once a month, he finds himself wide awake in the middle of the night, Carole snoring lightly beside him, and can’t manage to will himself back to sleep.

This is not unusual.

What IS unusual— not exactly rare over the last few months, since Finn and Rachel got back together, but not particularly common, either — is Burt being able to hear the somewhat muffled but still easily identifiable sound of squeaking bed springs. He’s out of bed and heading down the hall to tell them to keep it down (which usually puts a stop to these middle-of-the-night trysts for a few weeks, anyway) when he freezes.

Those are definitely bed squeaks, but they are NOT coming from Finn’s room.

Shit. This just got a lot more complicated.

Burt has known for some time now that Kurt and Blaine are having sex. He’d flat-out asked Kurt once, and Kurt had made an undignified noise but answered honestly, including telling him they use protection every time. So. Burt knows, and he has (mostly) made his peace with the fact that his baby boy isn’t so innocent anymore.

He doesn’t like to interfere with their relationship much, simply because he knows they get enough interference from the rest of the world. He gives them a little more leeway than maybe he should — lets them close the door when they’re alone, doesn’t check on them as often as he does Finn and Rachel, that sort of thing. At the very least, he knows there’s no chance one of them will end up pregnant.

Still, they DO need to keep it down. Burt just doesn’t want to have to tell them, because while Kurt will take it in stride, Blaine will get all earnestly apologetic and embarrassed, and it will be awkward all around for a few days while he tries to be extra respectful to make up for it. Burt HATES when he does that, but there’s no easy way to tell the kid he’s being too polite.

Burt needs a plan.

He creeps back into his bedroom and looks around in the dark, spying his phone sitting on the nightstand, illuminated by the glow of his alarm clock. Perfect.

Text message it is. Maybe they won’t get it until after Blaine has gone home (which he definitely will, because he wasn’t there when Burt went to bed last night, so he wouldn’t dare be there when Burt wakes up in the morning), so some of the awkwardness can be avoided.

But what to say? He doesn’t want to come across as angry, because he isn’t, but he wants them to get the point.

The message he decides upon makes him laugh, so he sends it to both of them and to Carole for good measure, in case he forgets to mention this to her in the morning.

Burt: “The next time I hear you having sex in the middle of the night, Carole and I will make it into a contest. Keep it down, because you WILL lose.”

This works so well because it captures Burt’s combination of discomfort and generosity. No, of course he doesn’t want them having sex in his home, but it isn’t as simple as that. Also, it’s fucking hilarious. 

quantumfemme:

schrodingerstriceratops:

what if all mermaids & sirens are lesbians who are singing to attract ladies so when they get men instead they just toss them aside & accidentally drown them in frustration??

I can confirm this is 100% true

thelegendofelectraheart:

actualteenadultteen:

The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!
On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.
On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.
Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

"Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little."
THAT’S THE POINT SUZANNE COLLINS WAS TRYING TO MAKE

thelegendofelectraheart:

actualteenadultteen:

The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!

On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.

On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.

Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

"Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little."

THAT’S THE POINT SUZANNE COLLINS WAS TRYING TO MAKE

depressednmoderatelywelldressed:

fichty:

cyberlocc:

hoodfuturism:

artemiskaonai:

MAINSTREAM MEDIA WILL SAY THAT THE PROTESTERS STARTED THE VIOLENCE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT. THIS IS NOT THE CASE AS PROVEN BY THE VIDEO ABOVE.

please watch this before its taken down

you can go to keepvid.com to download and re-post this video if it is deleted

Jesus Christ

Looks like a war zone how can people see shit like this and still protect the police

Can we talk about the fact that he said “I’m wearing a gas mask tomorrow” ? This shit is still happening and has been happening for so long that the protesters and citizens know that they are going to go through this again. You can hear that man say that he can’t even get back to his own home! This shit needs to be dealt with.

depressednmoderatelywelldressed:

fichty:

cyberlocc:

hoodfuturism:

artemiskaonai:

MAINSTREAM MEDIA WILL SAY THAT THE PROTESTERS STARTED THE VIOLENCE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT. THIS IS NOT THE CASE AS PROVEN BY THE VIDEO ABOVE.

please watch this before its taken down

you can go to keepvid.com to download and re-post this video if it is deleted

Jesus Christ

Looks like a war zone how can people see shit like this and still protect the police

humoristics:

a guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.

honeystopthecar:

beardyboywonder:

every gamer’s reaction upon finding a blood-covered room: well that’s not good

I am pretty sure that is not exclusive just to gamers.

obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:


“Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
Slurp the invisible soup.
Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.

obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:

  • Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
  • Slurp the invisible soup.
  • Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
  • Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
  • Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
  • Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
  • Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
  • If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
  • Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
  • Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.